In the Netflix mini-series Adolescence, we’re introduced to how a new generation of young boys is being influenced by the incel culture through what they consume online. In our piece, we explored how each episode in the series exposes phases that form or influence what young boys become: home, school, social media, and individual identity.
Interestingly, it is the first point of discussion in the sixth episode of the MENtality With Ebuka, where they discuss masculinity and young boys. They tend to explore the following questions: Why are so many boys struggling quietly? Who and what are they listening to? And what do they actually need from the men and families around them?
It is a widely held belief that we are all a product of society. Whenever something happens, we say, “Society allows it.” Or “Blame the society.” Or “Society has evolved.” But what makes up that society? Who is enabling that society to allow it? Who is driving the evolution of that society? It is in this society that young boys and girls are brought, where specific features were designed, specific roles, specific responsibilities and expectations. Beyond the biological differences, society designed how boys and girls should be raised.
Should they be raised differently?
The MENtality With Ebuka is a podcast that explores every stage of man’s development. The podcast has explored men’s relationships with friendships, men’s relationships with money, fatherhood and men’s relationships with relationships. It is only fitting that the podcast where it all builds on, where it all started; young boys.
Today, where does the influence on boys come from? While we all grew up at home, the digital age has enabled distance to happen in the closest of spaces. Boys get home from school and lock themselves inside the room, playing online games or on social media, chatting, being fed the definition of what it means to be a boy or a man. It is this spatial distance that spurred Australia to ban social media for teenagers.
IK Osakioduwa, one of the guests on this episode, says that “In the past 20 years, there have been active and deliberate campaigns for girl child and women’s emancipation, while they say the boys are fine,” He says. Are boys being neglected?
The podcast conversation switches to how fathers on the podcast are raising their children. There are five of them on this episode: Ebuka, Banky W, IK, Murewa and Sonariwo OnDeck. Murewa and Sonariwo OnDeck do not have a child, so it’s left with Ebuka, IK and Banky W to share how they are bringing up their children, young boys especially, in today’s world. IK has a teenager, so he shares how he has honest and truthful conversations with his son. He says, “The fact that you choose not to educate your child doesn’t mean social media won’t do it for you.” He dedicates some parts of his day to going on walks with his son, which allows him to bond with the young boy. Interestingly, IK’s children call him by his name instead of dad or daddy.
“How do we find that balance in a world where the influences are everywhere?” Ebuka asks. How do you respond?
Six episodes of the MENtality With Ebuka have been released. What has been your favourite?
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